Wounded to the last bit of the heart
by MissMicike
Summary: If the story took a different turn... Drama from Jakotsu's angle. No pairing.


With increased attention and balance some steps finally came to the end of the staircase and the door. Kagome cursed the stairs and the doorsill, the door frame, the slippery parquet, they all played against her. Only her fatigue and concentration stopped her from complaining.

Two more steps and they could finally lay their burden on the bed. The immobile body gladly gave in to gravity and sank in the cotton-like blanket.

Kagome rubbed her temples, noticing the starting headache.

- Mama... Could you bring me some medicine? My head hurts...

- Of course, my dear. Anything else you need?

- None, at the moment... Maybe some sleep, but it's a pity I can't do that...

- Won't you rest a bit while I'm getting some alcohol and cotton for you to clean the wounds? Some paste could be of some use too...

- Thank you, Mama!

Kagome waited till her mother left the room to search for the things she required. She looked back to the unconscious man lying on the bed. Beside some salving and sterilizing he'd need a bath, some operations and a lot more hospital treatment if he ever wanted to use his hands again or felt like standing on his feet.

The dirty person sunk into the duvet wasn't the girl's close friend. He was her enemy. Namely her friend's enemy. Probably Inuyasha's weirdest and most creepy opponent until now, the lethal fighter of the Shichinintai; Jakotsu.

The guy, after being attacked by Inuyasha, could only thank the Shikon shard in his neck that his soul was still able to stay in his worn out body. Though he is unable to move, only is able to get to his consciousness for minutes, the will to live still lurks in him. Maybe he still has an important thing to do?

After some glances to Jakotsu's irreparably ripped kimono and his skin invisible under the filthy wounds, she wondered how is she actually going to clean the wounds? She has been the closest to a boy when Inuyasha hugged her, but that was a little different situation. Inuyasha had his clothes on, he had been conscious, and… Well, Jakotsu is gay after all, isn't he?

- Kagome, I've brought cotton, alcohol and I found some of the paste you bought on that trip. Here's the medicine.

The woman brought all these on a tray, and put it on the table. She gave a glass of water and a white pill to Kagome.

- Shall I help you in cleaning her?

- Uh… Um… No, Mama I'll be all right alone. She doesn't like seeing strangers right after waking up…

- Okay. If you need some thing, just call me. I'll get some sleep, because I have to work tomorrow.

- 'kay. G'night!

Kagome swallowed the pill, and flushed it with cold water. She drank the whole glass, the pill was bitter and she was thirsty anyway after a long day.

She put the tray beside the bed. She knelt down and stopped to figure out where and how to start.

Jakotsu's face was the most vacant in the world. His eyes closed, eyelids wearily tightening on his unmoving eyeballs. How much sleep could he get in the past few days? Does a zombie need sleep at all? Kagome didn't even notice she was daydreaming. The question of Jakotsu's eye color popped into her head too.

In the feudal century she had met many special eyes. Miroku's beaming, waving sea blue eyes decorated with light spots. Inuyasha's sparkling, golden, fiery look. Sango's warm, chestnut brown eyes, giving hope to the whole world with the pain behind the mirrors. Shippo's lively, joyous, light green, big eyes symbolizing innocence. Jakotsu…?

He must have light brown eyes. Or dark green. Green would suit him.

Kagome blinked and got busy peeling the statue-like, motionless person out from his dead clothes and broken armor. Textile pieces rained everywhere as the girl dropped the remains under the window. During the undressing she once left the room to bring a towel. After getting rid of what remained of the yellow and green drape she covered Jakotsu's groin with the pastel blue towel.

She wasn't truly curious what could she find looking around better there. She never wanted to get a view of Jakotsu from this close.

She took down the cap of the bottle full of alcohol, which knocked on the floor, rolled under the table and disappeared among the legs of the chair.

- My hand's shaking… Oh, I'm only going to clean some injuries!

There was no need to lower her voice, since unconsciousness won't disappear because of a cap or a low-key sentence.

Kagome bathed a wad in biting alcohol above the tray, so the splattering drops would leave her knees in peace. She examined the body once more and decided to start with the shoulders. She gently drew the wad through a deep wound that exposed pure flesh – she felt the alcohol pushing in the body. Jakotsu didn't move. His face rested on the wrinkled, pink duvet looking at the wall.

The girl tried a little harder, and rubbed the wound, until the last piece of dirt was cleared away. She continued with the guy's neck, arm and chest.

Jakotsu's body showed a life dedicated to fight. He was broad-shouldered and muscular but he looked as skinny as Inuyasha. Jakotsu's skin was now pale, emphasized by the huge blood-loss. The girl put the umpteenth used wad on the tray, then thought about how to clean her nursed one's other hand, since the bed is beside the wall.

She didn't want to bother him, so she just leaned over him. Finished with the other hand too, she kneeled to the end of the bed and set on cleaning the wounds on Jakotsu's legs. His right leg was nearly sliced off by one of his own sword's sharp blades. The cut reached to the bone; as Kagome drew the wad she turned up a pendulous tatter of flesh, and revealed the white, cracked shinbone.

The girl turned away for a moment to get back her strength. When she poked the dirty injury again the treated leg flinched. Kagome lifted her head to see his face.

Jakotsu squeezed his eyelids, his face gave off pure suffering. His lungs desired air more and more, the dim lips slowly moved, and the injured started to huff and puff. His chest had before invisibly rose and fell; now his breathing quickened. The girl thought he looked like a mutely dying person. Overall, the scene was frightening, nearly repulsive.

Kagome threw the wad and hurried to open window, so Jakotsu could get some fresh air.

He is going to wake up… - she thought, but before taking this in, the guy on the bed opened his eyes so suddenly Kagome nearly fell out the window in shock.

Jakotsu slowly, struggling raised his hand to his forehead, and brushed off the dirt and grime. Kagome only now noticed that his face was drenched in sweat.

Despite his serious injuries Jakotsu tried sitting up, but his arms couldn't hold his weight in this state. The guy fell back on the pillow. His head lay on the blanket, the butterfly patterned pin fell out of his frizzy, ruffled, a little greasy, shining black hair.

- Stay there! Soon, you'll be all right… - Kagome finally decided to let herself noticed. Jakotsu followed her steps with blank eyes, but in the moment she approached another wad to his leg, the guy confused in this state pulled it up, not caring about the deep cut.

Kagome's widened eyes showed her shock, she has been afraid of what was going to happen to the guy, or – if he's able to move, what was going to happen to her? She shouldn't have brought him here alone…

- What the hell are you doing, bitch?! – he was breathing hard, and tried leaning on his elbow. Kagome stood up to his face, so he stopped the straining, because he could see his company too.

- Cleaning you wounds – Kagome held up the wad.

Jakotsu had not now known the girl, but his instinct instantly alarmed him; he hated women with all his heart.

His last memory was of Inuyasha, and the fling of his arm – this was followed by pain, and soon surprise. The guy left him dying in the middle of the cave, alone with his thoughts. Jakotsu soon gave in to the pain, his brain shut down.

- Where… are we? – confused eyes pierced the scared girl.

- In my house.

- Why am I… in your house? – he asked mistrustfully. Kagome scrubbed the wad with her fingers, her gaze scanned Jakotsu's face. The guy half closed his eyes. The girl couldn't make anything out of this look.

- You won't be able to move until you're not letting me help!

Jakotsu gently stroke his neck checking the shard. Was he still alive? He didn't die from Inuyasha's blow? Who's this girl?

- Who're you? Do you know… Inuyasha?

- Yup. – Kagome kneeled back and tenderly started attending the injuries again. His face was malignant, but he bore the touch.

Since she didn't inform him better, the curious Jakotsu had to ask.

- Than why are you helping me? – the end of the sentence drowned in coughing, Kagome watched him with growing worry. He seemed like wanting to get rid of either of his organs. When he finally became quiet Kagome continued the cleaning with a tissue. She tried letting out the pent-up tension and the stirred emotions in her sigh. Why is she helping? She couldn't leave the fellow-being even if he is as evil as he is. Inuyasha is most likely going to pull his own hair out when he hears about this.

Jakotsu had already forgotten about his question, so he posed a new one:

- What happened to Renkotsu and Bankotsu no Aniki?

Kagome blinked.

- When I've brought you the two of them were perfectly okay. Since then, I have no idea what could have happened.

Not the main point was the most important for Jakotsu now.

- You brought me? How far are we from Mount Hakurei? And… How did you bring me alone?

- On Kirara's back – seeing Jakotsu's blank eyes the girl corrected herself – the two tailed cat demon. And… Mount Hakurei is awfully far away.

Jakotsu probed the ceiling, than looked around in the room and the furniture. He had never seen items like the ones in this room in his entire life. Especially the lamp, the chair and the TV which caught his interest.

What the hell is this place? – was his last thought before drifting away in the endless blackness.

* * *

Slowly, he opened his eyes, idly, not completely aware of having awoken. After some blinks he identified the pain in his body. He remembered his injuries, and Inuyasha's face. Of course.

What he found interesting, was the light, smooth, soft duvet, that curled, snaked around his body. He never felt anything similar.

That girl. Who is she? Inuyasha's friend? Where did she bring him? She must have placed the blanket on him.

Jakotsu tilted his head right on the pillow, and found that this pose was unusually comfortable too.

The room he lay in had many strange objects in it. His thoughts just stopped seeing so many things beyond his depth. Anyway… What is this house made of…? This can't be a normal village cottage. Is this a fortress…?

The guy forced himself into a sitting position, he put his blood and dirt encrusted soles on the cold parquet. A big yawn.

His clothes…? Has he been undressed? Oh yeah, the girl cleaned his injuries. These people were sleeping on _this_? Why not on futon? Oooh, what a huge window!

Jakotsu couldn't keep himself from looking at the window from closer. He clumsily stumbled across the room and clung to the ledge. The Shikon shard didn't let him feel the soreness, but couldn't stop him from feeling the tepid blood on his leg. Not that he cared, the world appearing behind the curtains was quite more intriguing.

Sunlight made his pupils tiny, black eyes swept the garden. Smooth turf, tumbling fence with a nice mood to it. A wooden storage in the corner of the garden, the pink bicycle leant against it. Jakotsu looked at the road blinking. When a car passed he couldn't think of anything, just demons. Turning back he collapsed. His leg couldn't bear his weight, though it still didn't hurt at all. He bent over the limb and examined the injuries; seeing his bone he hissed shaking his head:

- Inuyasha, what a great job you have done… - He picked himself up and decided to explore his surroundings. Just before reaching the door with his limping left leg, it clicked and opened up. The guy leant to the wall, holding himself with his left hand.

- Jakotsu! – shrieked Kagome. A zombie got in her mind, who had just risen from his grave. How true… - Lay back!

- Don't… order me around! – Jakotsu interrupted his sentence with coughing. He stepped back when Kagome held her hand out to help, and coughed again.

The girl didn't know what to do.

- Jakotsu… Would you please wear something? – First of all let's find a solution to the nakedness.

- My yukata…?

- Not much was left of it, and your armor was in pieces too, so I just threw out the whole pack.

The guy could only blink.

- My sword?

Kagome spread her arms, and resignedly shook her head.

- Shit! What the hell am I going to do?! Inuyashaaa… You won't get away with this, dear…

Kagome tried ignoring the words, especially because mentioning Inuyasha always made her think about what was going on in feudal Japan, is he living, dying, who is he fighting with, what's with Naraku. Not knowing anything was maddening…

- Lay back… - she told Jakotsu, grabbing his wrist and touching his back to help him stumble to the bed – she felt on her palm how thin the guy is; like she was fingering his bones.

- Leave me alone! Lemme go! – Jakotsu seemed a lot livelier; he jumped out of her grip. He looked as if he was going to tear her apart with bare hands. Kagome realized he could. She thought about the matter while Jakotsu calmed down.

- If you don't want to lay back, would you take a bath? It's true; I've cleaned your wounds, but…

- Bath? I don't mind...

- .. stay here! - said the girl enthusiastically and left the room, the door closed before the obtuse guy. He wanted to follow the girl.

The guy used the time to exercise his limbs. His legs worked quite satisfactorily, he could use his hands well too, but his waist didn't turn normally. No worries, it'll be all right soon. The Shikon shard would take care of that. When he was fighting Sesshoumaru, and that bastard had torn his heart into little bloody pieces, the hole had healed. It won't be otherwise. Meaning… he truly hoped he would survive. Though, when Inuyasha left him in that cave, before he lost his consciousness, he accepted death. Why did that change?... He didn't have anything left to do… False! He has! Inuyasha! Inuyasha, Inuyasha! There's no creature that could break Jakotsutou, and shovel Jakotsu-sama into a status this miserable! There's none!

- Jakotsu… Put this on – Kagome peeked to the door offering something red. Jakotsu took the bathrobe suspiciously, but with obvious curiosity. He found it soft like the bedding and comfortable to wear. He tied the ribbon around his waist and followed Kagome.

Stepping out the door he saw stairs, pictures on the wall and other doors. He looked down beside the handrail, at the lower floor carpet which covered the parquet, and there were many strange objects. It's overcrowded, he thought.

He stepped in the room she showed him. Hot vapor made him stop, under his soles cold glazed tiles lay. In a huge, longish vessel heated water swirled. The guy stepped closer, then looked questioningly to the girl.

- Where is the fire? How did you bring so much hot water here?

- Um… - Kagome thought he'd ask if it's poisoned – It's streaming out from here, see…? – she gestured at the tap, then rotated it. Water bubbled out, then poured smoothly. Jakotsu stood there unmoving, blinking with big eyes, stared with an "_ah, like this_" face.

- Just don't rotate it and everything will be all right. And don't pull that stud out either, coz all the water's gonna flow down! – warned him Kagome, than pointed to a mound of clothes on a big white box, what her world calls a washing machine – You can wear those. Clean yourself properly, coz you're all bloody again… Here.

Jakotsu looked at the strange objects the girl had given him.

- That's a sponge and that's shampoo. Put the later one on the other and rub yourself over. Can you manage?

- Certainly!

After Kagome's leaving Jakotsu looked at the objects he was holding, and put them on a shelf whereon he ignored the unknown things.

Because of the curtain twilight ruled the room, only the small lamp's light broke through it. Jakotsu preferred not thinking about how that something could shine without fire. This is too much…

He dropped the robe on the other clothes, the girl had shown before. His blood dripped even more after those few steps.

He daintily stuck his finger into the steaming water. So hot… How? There's no hot water like this even in a hot spring. He sank his wrist in the decent temperature water, than stretched his fingers. He kneeled down; let his elbow feel the warmness too. He laid his palm on the surface of the tub. What kind of material is this…? What's all this? What's this place? Above all, _where_?

Anyway, it doesn't matter, he's going to leave soon, if not, Bankotsu no Aniki comes for him… or not.

He stood up, stepped into the tub with his right leg, the scars covered in gore behaved well, but the opened wounds, freshly dripping blood burned. The guy pulled back.

It'll hurt, going in. But the water is pulling him, seducing him to come, taste it… He's not even a clearness maniac like Suikotsu. Like Suikotsu had been.

Bankotsu no Aniki hadn't brought back the others, he would not going to search for him either. What if Inuyasha disposes of him too? No, Aniki already survived a Kaze no Kizu. Whoa… He'll certainly come for him.

Jakotsu stepped back into the water, put his other leg in there too, and sat down. The hot mass of water hugged him, slipped into the scarring of his body like caustic acid. He braved the probation, didn't pay attention to the pain, particularly because he felt it less and less. The Shikon shard might have remembered it's duty. The scars constantly healed, although awfully slowly.

The guy lay back in the water, his sloppy hair floated around his face. With lazy motions he untangled his muddled tufts. After that he sat up, he bent his head into his lap and rubbed it over with water.

Raising his head from the miniature waves his movements caused, water and sweat drops rolled down his face keeping off his nose, sometimes falling in his eyes.

He took a closer look at his body. As always, his skin was white and scale-thin, sea of veins, a total netting drew under it. Long, tapered slashes vary it, there are barely any places where no cuts slice through. His slim, bony figure took a frightening effect with all the cuts. His shinbone peeping out from his flesh showed his leanness. Jakotsu realized his body looks like a dead one. Slashed up, falling into pieces, drenched in blood.

He smiled. After all he is dead.

Dead, but lives. He was happy when he came to life once again, although he had a feeling like not even a moment had passed since he died, but deep inside he knew that he had come back from a long, empty rest. Ten years. He tried to get fresh air with a sigh, but the heavy, sweaty, oxygenless air stuffed with vapor filled his lungs.

Ten years in the earth, and now here again. At times he wished he never had come back to life. Seeing the world was hard. He wanted to stay here, but knew it's impossible. He is going to die. Bankotsu no Aniki had said that too, sitting before that shack talking about Suikotsu's shard.

He told him about meeting Kikyou. He stated the dead are dead. Jakotsu saddened hearing his words. Bankotsu had always been completely sincere, and Jakotsu experienced he is always completely right. He wanted out of this whole situation. If only Naraku never had the idea of reviving the Shichinintai.

Since they've climbed out of their grave Bankotsu was weirder then ever in his life.

But there is one advantage to everything… He got to know Inuyasha. Cute guys are always going exist. This never changes.

In the dully swirling water more and more of Jakotsu's blood dissolved. The color of it deepened. When a bigger drop got into the water it was only able to disappear very slowly. Whirled, turned, drew patterns.

The guy put his finger into the water and formed a red spot with great attention. He drew with it, painted the water with the intention of playing. Blood drops from his wounds had to struggle to get out.

The guy became absentminded, the panting interested him less then before, his thoughts strayed. He suddenly realized; he had been a fool.

He must make use of this second life. Who knows in which moment Naraku wants to take back the shard. Maybe, he should fight for his life? No. Bankotsu no Aniki is right. They've died already, coming back is pure luck. Don't need to fight, just enjoy, while still have it. And than everything gets to it's place again. Back in the earth. To rest. Again. Forever.

He so longs for that. It hurts here, knowing everything is going to end in days. Jakotsu never thought it was so difficult to bear something that didn't even exist physically. He accepted that he was dead, but doesn't want that again… that... nothing.

He lay back, the ends of his hair strands hung into the hot water.

If everything happens fast, then.. Then he'll be able to do it. If Inuyasha left him in a cave again, he wouldn't stay still. However he didn't want to live. Or did he? He doesn't know anything. Doesn't want to think. Enough. Just end it already…

With closed eyes, he imagined the Shichinintai into the darkness. He always lived for this, lived with them, for himself. No Shichinintai. What's next?

He lifted his left hand to the top of the water, let it lie on it. He tried to hold his hand so the water barely reached it.

He felt tired. Wanted to sleep and would have been inexpressively happy if in his dreams someone freed him from his problems. From the Shikon shard.

What happened? If there's no Ooaniki to oppose when he is being sincere is the will to live lost too? Where is he now?...

You couldn't say Jakotsu had gotten bored of the bathing, soaking; he just wanted to do something, so he got out.

He is going to do something right now; go to sleep. When the injuries have healed he'll decide. With burning cuts and stinging limbs it's impossible to make decisions.

* * *

Yelling got him up. The meaning of the words didn't reach him, only the emotions.

He pulled the blanket down to his knees. He sleepily stroked it, the softness felt nice to his fingers. This kind of familiar feeling that reminds him of love, he used to get somewhere else. His fingers used to touch bodies hot from seething blood, red faces, people forced into tense immobility when this feeling flushed him.

He must concentrate. He dressed up in the red robe and stepped out of the room. At this point he realized his wounds didn't hurt, his body moves in every direction without pushing. He touched his neck; just a check up.

He walked down the stairs, stared out the window, rain audibly beat the glass, and darkness lied out there despite the time.

He stepped on the cold floor barefoot, slowly passed through the soft carpet. Snorting yell, mad growling and women's shouting could be heard from the next room.

Jakotsu stopped before the closed door and grabbed the door handle without hesitation.

Standing on the doorsill he saw the girl in green and white clothes facing the silver haired Inuyasha. The guy's eyes sparkled, his look flamed, his hair flowed after each motion.

The pair turned around, four eyes speared at Jakotsu who answered with vacant glances. Inuyasha's face suddenly strained, he turned to the girl, accusingly spiked his finger at her:

- I still don't believe you! How could you?! Kagome, I don't be-lieve-you!

- I couldn't leave him there! And.. He could even help…

- Bah, you're stupid! You don't know anything, why must you be so meddling?! You should have stayed still out there!

Inuyasha is cute.

- Nice to see you, Inuyasha… - whispered Jakotsu stepping closer. Inuyasha got a hold on his sword – Don't worry. Do you see any weapon here?

- I don't trust you!

Jakotsu showed a painful smile, then walked to the window. He just stared out wordlessly, then glanced back over his shoulder to make certain they pay attention to him.

Everything he thought about yesterday got into his mind. If everything happened fast, he wouldn't have time to think it through, he could accept it.

- Hey, Jakotsu… - Inuyasha stood straight, let go of his sword. Jakotsu couldn't see him standing with his back to him – Are you curious what happened to Bankotsu and the others?

- What's with them? – Jakotsu didn't want to show his concern about this topic. He tried not guessing the answer, just wanted Inuyasha to answer quickly.

- They died. Renkotsu and Bankotsu too.

Jakotsu didn't answer. He closed his black eyes for a brief moment, then looked out to the rainy garden. He wouldn't look at Inuyasha; he was too cute. If he had to look at him he wouldn't be able to do it.

So, Aniki… they're dead. Difficult turn.

Jakotsu decided, there's nothing to say here. The solution was obvious from every angle. Shakily he lifted his hand, then with a quick movement he reached to his neck.

Kagome stared with big eyes, the short sentence "_this cannot be true!_" pulsed in her head. Inuyasha blinked, surprised, he hadn't expected this. Because he haven't played around with every possibility like dominos in one night.

The pair froze, paralyzed, looking at the blood red robe hanging off the collapsing skeleton, the rays of light shining from the eerie figure, the shard falling from bare fingers, tinkling on the floor.


End file.
